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Editing Destruction
Things are looking up for Captain June Vereeth. With friends, she escaped the madness of icy P-75. She brought a couple trophies (prisoners of war) back from the outlaw world of Shen-Zinkh. Now she’s even having fun climbing the picturesque mountains of Zycarsus with a new male friend, smiling in the sunshine…
Well, not exactly. She and this new friend (nicknamed Hulk) and 30 other soldiers are hauling themselves up 3000 feet into a maddening fogged-in world. They’re looking for a downed freighter. They’re lost, because they can’t use anything electronic and nobody has a map. And those pesky Mitasterites will have some competition for deadliest foe in this abandoned world.
First draft done, coffee chugged, I’m now editing Destruction (love my cheery title). And it’s going…well, it’s going. To once-again begin the process of editing a book is to wrestle with a bunch of questions.
Is this what I wanted to write?
Is this story good enough?
Do the right people die (it’s about war) or lose their way?
Am I accurately rendering Vereeth and her flaws and strengths?
Can this heroine reconcile the terrible cost of armed conflict, when she’s often stuck with the most difficult choices?
After two years of notes (the opening chunk came to mind before I was done with ‘Endgame‘) do I have the product I need to have?
Am I a good-enough writer for this?
Justin Edison’s three available books on a shelf
Time will tell.
Maybe.
Blackout: a Pioneering Term from Destruction
Writing my first sequel (ever) for Endgame has given me a few challenges.
One of those–natural for a sci-fi series about war–is penning my first space battle since I was, well, a teenager. What would it really be like? Since everything in the book is seen from heroine June Vereeth’s perspective, the moments were a combination of what she hears (communications) and the too-fast objects moving across various display screens. (She’s on a space station, not in the battle. Bonus: The worries and concern from watching something you have no control over.)
Since I grew up watching Star Trek: TNG, one of the questions that bugged me was how did the Enterprise crew see what was happening at some far-off outpost or near a cosmic rift. Bridge stalwart Lt. Warf says “On screen,” and, bam, there it is! Piece of Cardassian cake: You’re watching something from a two million kilometers away. No mention of satellites or camera-bearing probes. (The tech in that show was always frustratingly fool-proof, too.) If only.
So, how would we see such events in space? Especially when we’re nowhere close to them?
Introducing the term blackout, playing a minor role in Destruction. A blackout is an SUV-sized pod which would detach from a larger ship, like a battle cruiser, ahead of an event. The craft would move to a spot two miles away (things move pretty fast in combat) and sit stationary, offering tactical and radar assistance. If there are multiple vessels engaged in battle, the third-party view would give the good guys something of an advantage. For one, ships couldn’t hide behind others (a concept which sounds far-fetched but actually makes perfect sense in scenarios, such as in Ender’s Game).
I’m not pioneering the term ‘blackout’ of course. But, of the dozen or so definitions that appear (the term first being used in 1913) none refers as slang for a ship. That’s exactly what it would be. With space, of course, being quite dark, it would make sense for techs to use dark metal, or just paint the thing black. Then, while the pod was in use, it would make even more sense for all the lights to be turned off. Otherwise, a Mitasterite fighter makes a quick loop out and eliminates this tactical nuisance.
It might be fun to write a comedy piece, too: A mismatched couple (Felix and Oscar, or Elliott and Todd from Scrubs) arguing in the ‘dashboard’ light while all hell is breaking loose twenty seconds’ flight away.
I honestly try not to take myself too seriously, so there’s potential.
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Oversimplifying
On FaceBook the other day, there appeared an ad which a younger, less-mature me would’ve gotten really pissed-off about. It was for a weekend writing retreat (hundreds of starry-eyed writers crammed into a conference room) where someone could ostensibly learn to write a novel in 40 hours. Four-zero hours.
When I thought about it (and this feels like a gimmick sale) this would only make sense if someone gets the bones and structure and a few character details in place. Then, their story is done. (Well, not really.)
To get the bones and structure worked out is to simplify the overall narrative and arc into elemental terms. “Man falls in love with woman” becomes “boy meets girl” and so on. Naturally, life is that simple, isn’t it?
For fun, I decided I’d try it with “Endgame,” a war/sci-fi novel told from the perspective of my heroine, sniper Captain June Vereeth. (Probably 2,000 hours of work, all told.)
(The story starts in the middle of a battle, when Vereeth and company are defending a fuel dump on a Hoth-like world.)
Girl (Captain June Vereeth, in the midst of battle) shoots bag-guy enemy commander.
Girl meet boy (Dhani, equipment tech) in cave during battle.
Girl re-joins best friend (Prubius) and boss (Joffe) in battle.
Girl is nearly killed by falling, exploding enemy craft.
Girl and best friend are nearly killed by cave-in. Boss dies (crushed).
Girl, best friend, boy and two others are trapped, cut off from battle. Boy’s arm is pinned.
Girl, as ranking officer, orders removal of boy’s trapped arm (lest boy dies).
Girl tries not to panic, orders party to find a different route back to Base (main route is compromised).
Girl and party are saved from cataclysmic blast (fuel cache detonation) when bad guys penetrate the Base.
Girl wonders what to do (party is without maps or radio and is stranded 70 million miles from friendly territory).
Girl orders party to push on, mulling options and the war itself and the opposing side.
Girl and party emerge from cave tunnels, look back to see volcanic-blast aftermath of Base explosion behind them.
Girl and party are surprised to see planetary defense rockets (which were delayed by cyber attack) suddenly launch skyward, aimed at bad-guy cruisers in orbit.
Girl and party are nearly crushed by many tons of falling debris (those bad-guy cruisers).
Girl and party move on, knowing bad guys will be back (and will be as surly as ever)…
Okay, so this story doesn’t break down into really simple statements, after all. But it sure was fun to write!